|
 |
|
|
"Never" Is A Dirty Word
I've been down some roads that remind me of desolate pathways into obscurity and desperate solitude either by things I've done or that have been done to me. Yes, there was a time when I said I'd never let a man get so close to me that I'd let all of my fears fall by the wayside. Fortunately for me, I was unable to hear what I was telling myself. For most of my life I felt as though I had "Go ahead, treat me like shit -- I won't mind" tattooed across my forhead that only the wrong men could see and the right men saw "Don't bother -- not worth it". Don't get me wrong, I know it was my inner-self that put those phrases up there only I didn't realize it until I was in my 30's. There were one or two boys in my teenage years that probably would have been perfect for me, one died of bone cancer in Junior High and the other just didn't bring out the right feelings in me. He was great, even mom loved him but I felt we were better as friends. She told me many years ago that he came by to see how I was (I had had two of my children by that point), out of the blue! Leave it to me to have had a keeper and not see it at the time. I was young, too young to be mapping my life out. It does feel good though, to know that I was memorable to someone not related. I know that if anything were to happen to me, my husband would be lost for some time. He doesn't just tell me he loves me, he shows it daily. Not by grand gestures, but by the little things that mean so much more. I am of the fortunate few, who after a life of being let down by emotional relationships, didn't allow "never" to last very long. That's part of what my book is about: not giving up when you feel it's better to protect yourself than to let potential pain past the doorstep. Had I not taken this last risk, I would have missed out on my future. Love. It's always worth it. Even when it doesn't last, you learn something from it.
|
Contributor's Note
A hard lesson to learn about yourself is that you attract people by what you exude. If you lack self-esteem, you will attract those which will control you; if you do not feel deserving of a love that can only lift you higher, you will attract those that will set road bombs to further bring you down. I learned these lessons about myself, being taught by some of the masters of making me feel unworthy and deserving of a happy life. But that I was still able see that 'light' and the end of my tunnel tells me that even though there were times I felt I was destined to be miserable, I would come out okay one day.
|
|
|
 |
|
No reactions yet.
Please login or sign up to rate this intel.
Please login or sign up to add a comment.
The copyright for this content entitled ""Never" Is A Dirty Word" has been specified by the contributor as:
All Rights Reserved
This content may not be copied, distributed or adapted by anyone under any circumstances.
|
|
May, 2012
2008
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2009
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2010
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2011
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2012
January, February, March, April, May
|
|
Not a member yet?
Qondio is a powerful network for making it online. If you have a website to
promote, we can help.
Sign up and get in on the action.
|
|
Welcome to Qondio! Discover the awesome power this network can deliver by going to our About page. Or you could skip straight to the Sign Up form.
|
|
